Legendary Dudes of Awesome
“Dudes of Legend” Page 11
You know what happens when you kill a goblin in every fantasy game ever? You get experience points and phat loot.
You know what happens when you stab a taxi driver in the World of Darkness? You probably get a derangement and a carload of cops on your ass, and you probably also pissed off that taxi driver’s vampire master (fact: all taxi drivers are blood-drunk ghouls) and now everything sucks. Good job. Jerk.
Some of those things we can’t erase: the cops, the vampire master. But, let’s make murder more fun. I mean, hell, we’re all miscreants and deviants anyway. We play these games to explore expressions of violence and to direct our repressed gamer rage! (Er, that’s why I play these games. Don’t you? What’s wrong with you?)
Time to bridge the gap.
Every time you kill somebody in the World of Darkness, you gain experience.
Just to give it some glimmer of moral responsibility, let’s base it off of the victim’s Morality (or equivalent score like Humanity, Harmony, Arete, Faustability, Pants Size or Viscosity). Check the following chart:
| Morality Score | Experience Gained |
| 8-10 | 1 |
| 5-7 | 2 |
| 2-4 | 3 |
| 0-1 | 4 |
If the character killed is a police officer, then double the experience gained. No, we’re not condoning the murder of real, actual cops. We’re condoning the murder of imaginary “peace officers” in the World of Darkness! (Let’s be honest, you’re probably going to do it in the game anyway.)
Further, feel free to roll on a Phat Loot chart any time you execute somebody:
| Roll Result 1d10 | Phat Loot Gained |
| 1 | An extra dot in Resources for the remainder of the day |
| 2 | A cat |
| 3 | A katana, like one of the one listed [in the hack “the Myth of the Magic Katana is No Myth At All” on page 12 of this book] |
| 4 | A double dildo, like the one in the sidebar on p[age 17 of this book] |
| 5 | A Sony Walkman (the original cassette version, obviously) |
| 6 | A flux capacitor |
| 7 | A trained monkey (serves as a one-dot Retainer) |
| 8 | A Wii |
| 9 | A little robot who punches you in the genitals |
| 10 | A bag of chocolate coins that, when eaten in total, give you a Willpower point |
NOTE: This hack, despite being universal to all the characters, can be chosen as one of your personal hacks, just like the rest of the hacks in “Dudes of Legend.” If you choose it this way, all its effects are doubled, though you only roll once on the chart. For instance, if you kill a morality 1 police officer, you gain 8 experience. If you then roll a 9 on the d10, you get punched in the genitals by two robots, one right after the other. Sucks to be you.